Who knew Kirk Cameron’s sister was a grown-up now? Maybe you’ve seen her in the headlines lately. You know, Kirk’s little sister, Candace Cameron Bure…the one who played DJ in Full House all those years ago. I guess I haven’t thought about her since…well, let’s say it’s been a while.
Now, she’s all married (to a hockey player) and living her own life apart from acting and the whole Hollywood scene. (It just occurred to me that she could still be acting, but I wouldn’t know because, unless you’re talking sports or Duck Dynasty, I don’t see a lot of television these days.)
Apparently Mrs. Bure wrote a book, and a certain portion of it has some folks talking. A devout Christian, like her brother Kirk, Candace pens that she believes her role in marriage should be one of submission.
And when questioned, she went on to say, “Listen, I love that my man is a leader. I want him to lead and be the head of our family and those major decisions do fall on him. It doesn’t mean I don’t voice my opinion and it doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion – I absolutely do but it is very difficult to have two heads of authority. It doesn’t work…And when you’re competing with two heads that can pose a lot of problems or issues. So within my marriage we are equal in our importance…But we are different in our performances in our marriage.”
Well, you’d think people would pull out a pad and pencil when someone who’s been married to the same person for 17 years starts handing out free marital advice. Her words just might be worth hearing.
Ok, you probably think you know where this is headed, but I promise you, this train is not going to that station. I mean, I’m not bothered one bit if people disagree with Mrs. Bure and her hubby’s marital choices. It is a free country, after all. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
And no, I’m not even upset that people have spoken out against her, for whatever reason. As Bobby B might say, “it’s your prerogative.” You can do what you want to do.
But the insanity at the heart of this entire episode lies in the fact that much of the outrage seems to be based on the assumption that Mrs. Bure’s beliefs are sort of, you know, out there. Strange. Rare and unusual. Atypical.
In reality, however, millions of women around the country and possibly billions across the various nations and cultures of the world hold to similar beliefs about male and female roles in marriage.
Ok, so I know I’m showing my that my own philosophical underpinnings line up closely with Mrs. Bure’s. Full disclosure: you’re right, they do. But again, that’s not my purpose in writing this. I’m only writing this to make note of a strange, yet growing, phenomenon in our country. That is, how amazed some people are at the most common-place beliefs. The truly crazy thing is the fact that this tendency is often shown by those who view themselves as worldly and in the know. In truth, they show themselves to be just the opposite, sheltered and a little naive.
So, even if you disagree with Mrs. Bure’s opinion, there is absolutely no reason why her marital ideas should shock, amaze, or confound you. They are in fact quite common.
The moral of the story is (ok maybe there isn’t one, but let’s pretend there is) maybe we should spend more time discussing issues rather than feigning outrage when someone actually has an opinion that makes us a little uncomfortable.
I continually hear that this country needs to have a serious discussion about one thing or other, yet how can we have any discussion at all…serious or otherwise…if every time anyone speaks his or her mind, people are either outraged or strive to make an idea seem as outlandish as possible?
If an opinion is really as new as some people say it is, isn’t that just one more reason to listen and seriously consider it?